Young people always associate sex with relationship or relationship with sex. As if there could be no such fulfilling relationship without a satisfying sexual activities. Youngsters looked sex as the standard of having lasting and stronger romantic bond with women. Sex is desired by bigger percentage of the young.
A lot of surveys claim that majority wanted sex but sex, as it is, never became the barometer of a fulfilling life with your sexual partner. Quite true. People crave for relationship. Only sexual maniacs crave for sex.
Understandably, in a relationship you should not deny your sexual partner a gratifying sexual act. It is, however, a part of the total relationship package. Outspoken ladies even confirmed that they love and die for sexual gratification even without the blessing of matrimony. They believe that sex act can be done anytime you desire it provided in falls under the context of “being responsible enough for your own action”. Don’t do it if you can’t responsibly do it.
The most important things in sexual relationship are the intangibles. Surrendering oneself, through sexual intimacies, to someone doesn’t wholly convey true love for the person. It did mean true in the past though. True love, for me, is manifested not only in surrendering material possessions or even yourself to the one you loved. Giving him/her your valuable time matters most.
When I say, “Give him/her your time,” I don’t mean the time s/he requested you to share with him/her. I am pointing to how many times you have planned in your own to spend quality time with your partner. Or you’re just acting the otherwise? Say, you are just waiting for your partner to do the thing for both of you. “S/he is so busy with work” is a damn lame excuse. People still have personal lives to live, right?
We are no longer in a time were single gender dominated the world. Partner, as you are, must also do his/her own thing for the partnership. Be an active partner. Think, decide and act what you desire for you and for your boo. Let your initiative kicks butt.
Relationship is not paramount to sex. It, indeed, involves a lot of intangible things. One thing is initiating a plan of spending quality time with your partner without the latter’s insinuation.
Monday, March 07, 2005
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
An Abject Love Story of a Friend
A guy friend of mine from TAGO shared to me his love story, an abject rather than the they-live-happy-ever-after story. That is the best way I can couch his story with his girl. I just wish that I did him justice. Here is his romance:
This guy friend of mine from TAGO met this lass in mid - 2002 at the local college in TANDAG. Tina, not her real name, of course, but somewhat closer to her true identity, was a transferee then from one of the universities in Davao. (The choice for the pseudonym Tina, however, is taken from one of the eyeball’s parts, which is the Retina that contains the real name of the lass. What a puzzle!) This guy DAVE, as I should name him, had already been bewitched by her reserved personality.
To make the narration shorter, Dave and Tina became sweethearts in September 2003. It all started when unknowingly Dave, who hated the idea of having a textmate, happened to respond to the message of a party whom he doesn’t have knowledge of. All he knew was she is a lady for he had called her but he could not puzzled out her identity. They kept the communication open for three long months. Unusual for Dave to last that long for wontedly a day or two he is out of that sort of set-up. The contact continued to the point that Dave had confided to Tina personal things like the name of the girl he longed and wanted.
One day, Tina stupefied Dave when she had confessed that the lady whom he had an eye on for quite time was her, Tina herself. Dave had mix feelings knowing that fact. He could not believe her. And if it was true, what face could he have to show her when they meet in school. He was caught in the middle. Though, on the other side, he was happy that he had her as his textmate.
Since then, they casually dined at local restaurants, went lazying at the beach and shared things they love and dislike in life. Coincidentally, both of them shared the same trauma of their past relationships. They even feared to build another one.
Having similar denominator (their past life and their fears, among others), they could not mustered enough strength to resist the attraction building between the two of them. Finally, the said pull of attraction bond them as sweethearts during the middle of September in 2003.
The Year 2004 was not a very good year for them. Insecurities still crept on their relationship. More petty rhubarbs (read: love quarrels) sprung. Dave could not remember a single month that they haven’t argued. What a pity!
The start of 2005 can be considered a good year for them. Everything seems to be all right. Petty arguments, which were hated by them, were out of the scene. Love occupied every space of their life.
If you gotta look at them from any angle, they resemble a perfect tandem. One thing, however, is not resolve between them. They can’t agree on something. If Dave wanted this thing, she wanted another, that sort of things.
Dave loved her so much even to the idea of marrying her, spending his life and consuming his lifetime with her. Tina desired a different thing. She can’t even tell and convinced Dave she wanted him so much. They are still together now but that last sentence seems to be their problem, which needs their first attention.
Indeed, it is an abject love story, as I would put it. As I ponder, it is hard for Dave to have an uncertain future with Tina. Dave deserves to be told by Tina of what she really wanted for them. They are partners, after all. Both of them are affected when one got a problem. And the affair/problem of one becomes an affair/problem of the other.
If Tina plans to live her future without Dave, then, she should start living her life without Dave the soonest as today. That I guess, Tina does justice to Dave. Dave still deserves more things than that.
If Tina long only for a boyfriend, well, that is fine for Dave. Dave will selflessly offer himself as her BF but won’t bother/care for her future. She can’t demand Dave’s time and can’t even bar Dave from having dates.
If Tina wanted to share her future with Dave, then, she must feel, accept and recognize now that in whatever path she’s going to take, moves she’s going to make, plans she is going to concretize Dave must always be part of it. Dave must know and understand. In that way, problems are minimized if not eliminated. Frictions between them are lessened.
Commonality of this expression “to love unconditionally is to love without expecting to be loved in return” doesn’t fit every situation. It must be remembered that in a romantic relationship, it is a symbiotic set-up. It is a give – and – take relationship. And it is bound to sharing everything through time – from today towards the future.
If a guy has tried to woo you from time to time, don’t expect him to continually do the same to you if you won’t care. Time will come that he would need to give himself a space. He has still a life to live.
This guy friend of mine from TAGO met this lass in mid - 2002 at the local college in TANDAG. Tina, not her real name, of course, but somewhat closer to her true identity, was a transferee then from one of the universities in Davao. (The choice for the pseudonym Tina, however, is taken from one of the eyeball’s parts, which is the Retina that contains the real name of the lass. What a puzzle!) This guy DAVE, as I should name him, had already been bewitched by her reserved personality.
To make the narration shorter, Dave and Tina became sweethearts in September 2003. It all started when unknowingly Dave, who hated the idea of having a textmate, happened to respond to the message of a party whom he doesn’t have knowledge of. All he knew was she is a lady for he had called her but he could not puzzled out her identity. They kept the communication open for three long months. Unusual for Dave to last that long for wontedly a day or two he is out of that sort of set-up. The contact continued to the point that Dave had confided to Tina personal things like the name of the girl he longed and wanted.
One day, Tina stupefied Dave when she had confessed that the lady whom he had an eye on for quite time was her, Tina herself. Dave had mix feelings knowing that fact. He could not believe her. And if it was true, what face could he have to show her when they meet in school. He was caught in the middle. Though, on the other side, he was happy that he had her as his textmate.
Since then, they casually dined at local restaurants, went lazying at the beach and shared things they love and dislike in life. Coincidentally, both of them shared the same trauma of their past relationships. They even feared to build another one.
Having similar denominator (their past life and their fears, among others), they could not mustered enough strength to resist the attraction building between the two of them. Finally, the said pull of attraction bond them as sweethearts during the middle of September in 2003.
The Year 2004 was not a very good year for them. Insecurities still crept on their relationship. More petty rhubarbs (read: love quarrels) sprung. Dave could not remember a single month that they haven’t argued. What a pity!
The start of 2005 can be considered a good year for them. Everything seems to be all right. Petty arguments, which were hated by them, were out of the scene. Love occupied every space of their life.
If you gotta look at them from any angle, they resemble a perfect tandem. One thing, however, is not resolve between them. They can’t agree on something. If Dave wanted this thing, she wanted another, that sort of things.
Dave loved her so much even to the idea of marrying her, spending his life and consuming his lifetime with her. Tina desired a different thing. She can’t even tell and convinced Dave she wanted him so much. They are still together now but that last sentence seems to be their problem, which needs their first attention.
Indeed, it is an abject love story, as I would put it. As I ponder, it is hard for Dave to have an uncertain future with Tina. Dave deserves to be told by Tina of what she really wanted for them. They are partners, after all. Both of them are affected when one got a problem. And the affair/problem of one becomes an affair/problem of the other.
If Tina plans to live her future without Dave, then, she should start living her life without Dave the soonest as today. That I guess, Tina does justice to Dave. Dave still deserves more things than that.
If Tina long only for a boyfriend, well, that is fine for Dave. Dave will selflessly offer himself as her BF but won’t bother/care for her future. She can’t demand Dave’s time and can’t even bar Dave from having dates.
If Tina wanted to share her future with Dave, then, she must feel, accept and recognize now that in whatever path she’s going to take, moves she’s going to make, plans she is going to concretize Dave must always be part of it. Dave must know and understand. In that way, problems are minimized if not eliminated. Frictions between them are lessened.
Commonality of this expression “to love unconditionally is to love without expecting to be loved in return” doesn’t fit every situation. It must be remembered that in a romantic relationship, it is a symbiotic set-up. It is a give – and – take relationship. And it is bound to sharing everything through time – from today towards the future.
If a guy has tried to woo you from time to time, don’t expect him to continually do the same to you if you won’t care. Time will come that he would need to give himself a space. He has still a life to live.
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